If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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