That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
