fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize