ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize