I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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