we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My vagina just recognized that song.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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