and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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