Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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