The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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