Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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