Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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