Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
