the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
