Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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