I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
