Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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