I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
