The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
