I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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