My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
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My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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