He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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