Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
