just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I am naked and annoyed.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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