Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
