Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
