what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
