i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
