don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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