There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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