And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
