The maid of honor just puked.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
