i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Green mimosas i think yes
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
