Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
look no pants
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
