Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
