watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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