woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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