I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just want nice things and good sex
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
