I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
