i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
