they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Duck Duck Cougar?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
