Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just pee around me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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