I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
