Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize