i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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