birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
