So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
