I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i think i have two assholes
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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