Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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