I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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