My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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