we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize