Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
