I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
