There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
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I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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