i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Found the puke drawer
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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