her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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