I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
