I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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