It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
