is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize