I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
