I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
