I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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