Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
