he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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