She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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